"pot" o gold

I think the true sign of a real New Yorker is someone who knows where and how to find a restroom when one is not readily available. When walking around, it's always a bonus to know where to find a terlet. For instance, most chain stores have restrooms--Barnes & Noble, Old Navy, Banana Republic (some of them), Crate and Barrels, etc. Also, any dept store is a good bet. And if you're in midtown, and in the need of a private room, Takashimaya and Bendels both have huge, one-person restrooms.
I bring all of this up because I had to leave work today due to not feeling so well. Another important thing to know is where to find the private bathrooms in or around your office building. When working on 54th btw 5th and Madison, we used the Takashimaya private rooms because they were just around the corner. In the Hearst building, alot of people swear by the 2nd floor bathrooms that are off of the cafeteria, but I never liked those. I preferred the two private rooms on the first floor. I think alot of people had no clue about these. So, today, when I had a bit of an issue at the Time/Life building, I called on coworkers to alert me to where the private toilets are. I know alot of people take the elevator up to another floor that has a handicapped bathroom, but people sit right there, so I wasn't so into that. I was then shown the amazing fleet of restrooms on the floor with the conference room (which was empty today). It was a great find! Huge men's and women's rooms with a private one in the middle. Not sure where I'm working next month, but be certain that when I get there, I WILL find that pot o gold!!!
So, when in the city of millions, there are toilets available, just think outside the bowl.

from the archives...

Nothing too blog-worthy has happened recently, so I thought I'd tell one of my mom's favorite NY Stories:
The Subway Grate Singer
Back in the day, I lived on 54th St btw 9th and 10th and worked on 54th St btw 5th and Madison, so my commute was pretty straight forward. So, one day I was about to leave for work, and I decided at the last minute to change my underwear from a bikini to a thong. I was wearing a skirt, and I thought I'd be more comfortable in a thong. On my way down 54th St., I often stopped at a cart in front of the Ziegfeld to get my coffee. This particular day was no different. As I was waiting for my coffee, I was standing over the subway grates (typically, this is no big deal as long as you aren't wearing heels). All of the sudden I hear someone singing "You are so beautiful to meeeeee." I look around and notice that the subway grate gate is up and there are guys working below me!!!! I'm standing on a subway grate in a skirt with my last-minute thong choice. I pull my skirt between my legs and try to stand on a tiny piece of cement between the grates. I'm yelling at the cart guy to hurry with my coffee, but he's laughing so hard that he can't get the milk out. I was laughing too, but come on!!!!

carcas

I was standing outside of the laundromat waiting for my wash to finish up. The breeze was kicking up and the sky was getting darker. Then all of the sudden a huge seagull swooped down in the street right in front of me. I guess the storm brought him inland. He was terrifyingly monstrous!!! Then I notice him go over to a big knuckle-looking bone with flesh hanging off of it that was sitting in the street. He picked off a chunk of the meat and flew around with it hanging from his beak. It was disgusting. I even made a comment to some dude who was also waiting for his laundry. He just sort of laughed.

film

A little film from some of my favorite artists.

where am i going to go?

I just want to know who these urban planners are, and what ring of hell they are going to eternally suffer in. I walk outside yesterday to find my street closed off to traffic, and come to find out that "they" are considering closing down a portion of Bedford to traffic, so they are testing it out for a few weekends. All of the business owners were aware of this (of course), but as far as I know, the residents were told nothing. This neighborhood is rapidly becoming all about bringing people in to spend their money. But what about those of us who live here? The laundromat on Bedford and N8th recently closed and is opening up as a restaurant. This leaves one tiny place to do laundry for all of us on the north side of Bedford. Fun times. And what about a grocery store? That would be nice. Ugh, I'm so afraid that my rent is going to fly through the roof come November. If that happens, I have no idea where I would go. Am I going to have to move somewhere far away by myself? Or at 35, am I going to have to try to find a roommate? Maybe I'm worrying for nothing, but it's not lookin' good.

reason #7273 to hate pigeons

A friend told me the following story:
She saw a number of pigeons swarming to get to something on the sidewalk. As she got closer, she realized that they were eating a pile of puke. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!


Here's my video of the day. If you don't like it, screw you. I just had eggs for breakfast.

visual stimulation

This morning on my way to the subway, I noticed a pit bull with the biggest scrot I have ever seen! He seemed very proud (and so did his owner), but looks like that might hurt a bit.