Guest Appearance from Jola:

So damn typical!!!!

Ok, ok, I'm back, but don't get used to this. Maybe I'll write more, but I'm not promising anything.

So, anyway, I went to work today knowing that I wasn't feeling so hot. My plan was to see how I felt once I got going, and at least mark up the color on the pages for the mag then leave. So, as luck would have it, I started feeling worse, so I left. I contemplated taking a cab home, but after running to Duane Reade to pick up some drugs, I noticed that the bus was right there. This bus drops me off right across the street from the 3rd ave entrance to the L train—two stops and I'm home—YAY! Well, not so fast, sick lady!!! I get down the stairs only to find that there has been a fire and the L train is not running in either direction. OF COURSE!!!! And in a very New Yorker moment, four of us group together to share a cab to Williamsburg. Then of course the cabbie decided to go on some tour of the LES before heading to the bridge—we all noticed this screwy route! Since we were all going to different locations, I just jumped out of the cab underneath the BQE and walked the rest of the way in the cold rain. I picked up some soup and some Mentholatum then HOME! Finally!! What should have taken at most 30 minutes, took almost 1.5 hrs. So typical!

another one from the archives

Yesterday after leaving work, I ran up to Lee's Art Supply on 57th St to get some refill pages for my portfolio. The newly renovated outdoor/public space next door was open, so I went up to check it out and see if Boobs the cat was still living over there. I searched through the plants, but no sign of Boobs. During the renovation, Boobs could be found on the other side of the fence; on the 56th St. side next to Hooters. Boobs was actually named years ago by the Hooters employees because she'd always hang around and get chicken wings and stuff. Boobs has been around summer and winter for years. And she is very selective as to who she lets pet her. I happen to be one of the chosen ones, but I have been visiting her off and on for at least 8 years.
So, anyway, as I was up there searching for Boobs, I was reminded of a situation that happened at a nearby public space. I was sitting in the space on 8th Ave just south of 57th street—across from what is now the Hearst tower. The seats all backed up to big cement planters with bushes and trees in them. I was involved with checking my phone messages and calling people back, but I did notice an older woman who was sitting approx. 20 yards to my right. She was eating a little pie and I thought it was cute. So, I'm making a phone call and I notice this woman waving her arms in the air. She's old enough that she can't just get up and run over. I look over at her and she mouths Raaaaaaaaat!!! I barely turned my head and I see out of the corner of my eye a huge effin rat over my shoulder!!!!!!!!!! I screamed and jumped up so fast that I'm surprised that I didn't pull a muscle! I thanked and thanked the woman for alerting me to the presence of that beast. I seriously would have had a heart attack if that thing had crawled onto me!!!!!!!! The woman got a good laugh while eating her pie. I then called a friend and relayed the story to her, and she informed me that a rat would never get that close to a human unless it were rabid. Wonderful!! A rabid rat almost climbed onto me!!! Ugh!

So, anyway, here's some Ride:

same ol story

When I was younger, guys used to tell me, "You're not the kind of girl we just date; you're the kind of girl we marry." I always found that statement a little irritating because nobody's going to marry me without dating me first, and who's to say that I didn't want to have some fun as well. Anyway, as my birthday is closing in on me, I'm realizing that I somehow got lost in purgatory--in that in between stage of dating and marriage. As I've mentioned before, I've been doing the online thing again. My account expires in a few days, and to be honest, I'm happy about that. The last few months have been torturous. It's been very hard to keep a positive attitude and not blame myself for all the misfortunes that have occurred. In this past week alone, I've had two situations:
1. A guy contacted me about going out. We emailed and he chose a day and the place--we were going to have drinks. I chose that we'd meet at 8pm. His last email to me was, "Tuesday at 8pm at Yaffa is good for me." I wrote back and said that I'd see him there. This interaction was a few days before we were supposed to meet. I could see that he was viewing my profile every day since we made the plans—he even viewed me the day of, but no confirmation email or anything. I went to Yaffa at 8pm on Tuesday and I didn't see him, so I went to the backyard to see if he was back there. I didn't see him, so I went back up front to wait. I sat out front and waited and waited. I called my friend around 8:20 because I needed to talk to someone. I stayed for another 10 minutes or so then left. I was sooo incredibly angry and frustrated. I cannot seem to catch a break! Come on!!!! I ended up meeting up with a few coworkers that were at a place nearby then I went home and logged onto that stupid site—HE WAS ONLINE!!!! I sent another reply to the last email he had sent confirming the day, time and location. I said, "It's Tuesday. I was at Yaffa at 8pm. Where were you?" It's been almost a week and still no response.
2. Yesterday I attended the Bushwick blowout at Dan's house. I was hanging out, chatting with people when I notice a guy I had emailed from the dating site. I sent him a msg when I first joined, and he never responded. Then one night I was out and saw him, so I sent another msg just saying hey, was that you I saw...blah...blah. Again, nothing. That's fine. Whatever. So, he shows up at this party with some chick, and it was pretty apparent that they were on a first or second date. It was pretty funny. There were a few times that I caught him looking at me, but I'm not entirely sure that he recognized me from the site. At one point he sort of pushed me out of the way to get to the keg. He said excuse me and smiled, and that's when I was pretty sure that he didn't know who I was. But it was interesting to see who he chose to go out with. He left before I did. And when I got home I logged onto the site for a few minutes and noticed that he was on. I'm over it all.
Aside from the stupid online dating bs, all else is good. The party was loads o fun!! And the chick who played the best friend in Juno was there—totally random. I knew it time to leave when I went up to go to the bathroom and people were watching fart porn.

NEIL DIAMOND

Last night I went to see Neil Diamond at Madison Square Garden. Laura B. scored 4 free tickets, and I immediately accepted when she offered one of them to me. I grew up listening to Neil because my dad has always been a huge fan. Now, I've been to a TON of shows in my life, but I have to say Neil tops the list when it comes to being a performer. The best was when he sang "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" and he sat at a little cafe table holding a glass of wine; then he walked across the stage to the woman who sings Babs' part; and they end the song in an embrace. It was such a dramatic skit! Also, the videos during "Brooklyn Roads" and "America" were pretty amazing. It was a fun evening that made me feel like I was a kid again, riding around in my dad's pick-up truck and listening to him belt out the Neil Diamond that was playing on the 8 track.

the cars

I recently put alot of my old music on my itunes—CDs that I've had forever that I had pretty much forgotten about. And I have to say that The Cars are probably one of the best bands ever!!! I always liked them, but when you remove yourself then listen to them again, you realize how timeless they are. And they have great videos to boot!!! I kind of love Ric Ocasek in that bull dog sort of way.

Happy Birthday, baby girl!
You're a teenager now!!

"pot" o gold

I think the true sign of a real New Yorker is someone who knows where and how to find a restroom when one is not readily available. When walking around, it's always a bonus to know where to find a terlet. For instance, most chain stores have restrooms--Barnes & Noble, Old Navy, Banana Republic (some of them), Crate and Barrels, etc. Also, any dept store is a good bet. And if you're in midtown, and in the need of a private room, Takashimaya and Bendels both have huge, one-person restrooms.
I bring all of this up because I had to leave work today due to not feeling so well. Another important thing to know is where to find the private bathrooms in or around your office building. When working on 54th btw 5th and Madison, we used the Takashimaya private rooms because they were just around the corner. In the Hearst building, alot of people swear by the 2nd floor bathrooms that are off of the cafeteria, but I never liked those. I preferred the two private rooms on the first floor. I think alot of people had no clue about these. So, today, when I had a bit of an issue at the Time/Life building, I called on coworkers to alert me to where the private toilets are. I know alot of people take the elevator up to another floor that has a handicapped bathroom, but people sit right there, so I wasn't so into that. I was then shown the amazing fleet of restrooms on the floor with the conference room (which was empty today). It was a great find! Huge men's and women's rooms with a private one in the middle. Not sure where I'm working next month, but be certain that when I get there, I WILL find that pot o gold!!!
So, when in the city of millions, there are toilets available, just think outside the bowl.

from the archives...

Nothing too blog-worthy has happened recently, so I thought I'd tell one of my mom's favorite NY Stories:
The Subway Grate Singer
Back in the day, I lived on 54th St btw 9th and 10th and worked on 54th St btw 5th and Madison, so my commute was pretty straight forward. So, one day I was about to leave for work, and I decided at the last minute to change my underwear from a bikini to a thong. I was wearing a skirt, and I thought I'd be more comfortable in a thong. On my way down 54th St., I often stopped at a cart in front of the Ziegfeld to get my coffee. This particular day was no different. As I was waiting for my coffee, I was standing over the subway grates (typically, this is no big deal as long as you aren't wearing heels). All of the sudden I hear someone singing "You are so beautiful to meeeeee." I look around and notice that the subway grate gate is up and there are guys working below me!!!! I'm standing on a subway grate in a skirt with my last-minute thong choice. I pull my skirt between my legs and try to stand on a tiny piece of cement between the grates. I'm yelling at the cart guy to hurry with my coffee, but he's laughing so hard that he can't get the milk out. I was laughing too, but come on!!!!

carcas

I was standing outside of the laundromat waiting for my wash to finish up. The breeze was kicking up and the sky was getting darker. Then all of the sudden a huge seagull swooped down in the street right in front of me. I guess the storm brought him inland. He was terrifyingly monstrous!!! Then I notice him go over to a big knuckle-looking bone with flesh hanging off of it that was sitting in the street. He picked off a chunk of the meat and flew around with it hanging from his beak. It was disgusting. I even made a comment to some dude who was also waiting for his laundry. He just sort of laughed.

film

A little film from some of my favorite artists.

where am i going to go?

I just want to know who these urban planners are, and what ring of hell they are going to eternally suffer in. I walk outside yesterday to find my street closed off to traffic, and come to find out that "they" are considering closing down a portion of Bedford to traffic, so they are testing it out for a few weekends. All of the business owners were aware of this (of course), but as far as I know, the residents were told nothing. This neighborhood is rapidly becoming all about bringing people in to spend their money. But what about those of us who live here? The laundromat on Bedford and N8th recently closed and is opening up as a restaurant. This leaves one tiny place to do laundry for all of us on the north side of Bedford. Fun times. And what about a grocery store? That would be nice. Ugh, I'm so afraid that my rent is going to fly through the roof come November. If that happens, I have no idea where I would go. Am I going to have to move somewhere far away by myself? Or at 35, am I going to have to try to find a roommate? Maybe I'm worrying for nothing, but it's not lookin' good.

reason #7273 to hate pigeons

A friend told me the following story:
She saw a number of pigeons swarming to get to something on the sidewalk. As she got closer, she realized that they were eating a pile of puke. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!


Here's my video of the day. If you don't like it, screw you. I just had eggs for breakfast.

visual stimulation

This morning on my way to the subway, I noticed a pit bull with the biggest scrot I have ever seen! He seemed very proud (and so did his owner), but looks like that might hurt a bit.

single life

I've never been one who actually liked dating around--I've never been one of those girls that saw a date as a free meal. I always thought that was gross. I'd rather be with someone or single than go on first dates all of the time (I know it's fun for some people, but not for me). So, anyway, I've been trying to be more open-minded and try new and different avenues to meet people, but somehow I keep ending up in one of two situations:
The first situation being "the nighttime worker." Not sure how this continually happens, but I must have a sign on my forehead that reads, "if you work at night, I'm you're woman." It has been unfortunate because I really enjoyed being around a couple of these guys, but always having to bend my schedule to theirs can become very tiring.
The second situation has become almost an epidemic in my life, and I really cannot begin to figure it out. It's the "ask me out then never go out" situation. It's insane how often this has happened. In recent memory, here are examples:
1.there was the guy I met out one night who called/texted me several times from a job that took him out of town. He said he wanted to hang out when he got back. He went even as far as saying that he wanted to meet up at the mermaid parade. I went out to Coney Island with a friend, and I never heard from him. He even ran into the friend I was with when I met him, so I know he was out there.
2. Then there's the guy I met at the jersey shore (i know, i know, but he's a fireman from the jersey shore, I had to at least give this a shot if for nothing else a good story.) He seemed nice, and he was a friend of a friend, so he came with a good reference. He was fun the weekend that I met him, and he nervously asked me if I'd go to dinner with him sometime. I said sure, we exchanged numbers. He called me the next morning to check in and say that he enjoyed meeting me. We then spoke on the phone several times, and even went as far as choosing a restaurant to go to. He even said that we'd go the next Tuesday and that he'd call me before then. Well, I never heard from him again. I called to see what was going on, and he apologized and we made plans again--never heard from him.
WTF?!!!!
3. Not that this really counts, but there was the 22-year-old french boy who insisted that I give him my phone number because he wanted to take me to Coney Island. Guess what?! I never heard from him.
4. Then most recently, I've been trying the online thing AGAIN. I "met" someone that seemed really interesting. We emailed back and forth several times, then I suggested we meet in person (because emailing is just a waste of time when an actual meeting will determine if you're compatible or not). He said that he was working, but "let's make plans for next week." I wrote back saying that sounds good, the only night I'm not available in Wed, so whatever works for you is good." then...nothing. I wrote another email asking how the weekend was. He responded and asked how mine was. I wrote back, and...nothing.

Now, seriously, WTF? Can I not catch a break? So, in my quest to get to the bottom of this insanity, I sent an email to example #4, and asked what was up. Poor guy just happen to be the situation that broke the camel's back. And, I have to say that he was mature enough and classy enough to actually respond. I still don't have an answer for why this has happened time and again--#4 lost interest (you never even met me!), but I guess I'll keep on keepin' on. I just have to wonder if I will ever be worth someone else's effort. I hope so.

Ok, next, please. I'm heading out soon to McCarren Pool to see The Whip and The Breeders for FREE!!! Hey, maybe I'll meet someone there... :) It will be fun either way.

chicken burger

So, yesterday I went to the company cafeteria to grab some lunch. I have to say that it's usually pretty good, and one of this week's specials is a build your own burger station. I got the most delicious chicken burger (don't know if I had ever had a chicken burger before). Then I added pepper jack cheese and guacamole. It was so amazing and I was still full at 9pm last night! Anyway, the purpose of this story is that I got home from work, and as usual, ripped off my work clothes to change into my Pico walking duds, and noticed a glob of dried guac on my boob!!! No, not on the front of my dress, but on my flesh--on my boob!!! I was so taken with my chicken burger that I didn't even notice the guac fall inside my dress. I am such a slob!

my life...

has become a comedy of errors. I can't go into details, but the moment I try to live by the "you only live once" theory, I end up in a whirlwind of craziness. And those women on sex and the city never seemed to deal with the aftermath of doing something a little crazy. No, I didn't wait at a raw food restaurant all night to go home with the waiter or anything, but still, I did something a little out of character, and it all blew up in my face. This city is full of crazies! (and maybe I'm one of them)

work, work

You think I'd be rushing to get to work when you see the pics below, but I'm lounging while having my morning coffee. Anyway, I think these are kind of funny. This is the brief moment of downtime, and this is what we do...

i'm back in bidness, my friends!

Yay!! I have my computer back—it's up and running like new AND I didn't pay a cent to have it fixed! I haven't had luck like this since I won those Metallica tickets back in high school. (Um, yeah, my name was called over the morning announcements as the winner, and I was terribly embarrassed, but I ended up having alot of offers to buy the tickets, so I sold them. I wish, now, I had gone to the show.) Anyway, I took my computer in last Sat, and on Wed I called to check the status. I was expecting to have to pay at least $400. I was pretty sure it was some sort of power issue and not the hard drive since the power button was being so sensitive and the whole thing would just turn off in the middle of a sentence, but I wasn't expecting Apple to cover the cost of fixing my baby!!! I go to pick it up yesterday afternoon, and I don't even owe the $40 diagnostic fee. It was amazing! Yesterday was the summer solstice, so maybe this is a sign of things to come. I can always dream, can't I? Of puppies, cotton candy, oceans, hot, airy nights with a cold beer, rock-n-roll, love...le sigh.

time out

My computer is at the hospital right now, so no blogs for a while. I'm hoping that it will be diagnosed with something that is cheap to fix, but I realize that I'm living in a dream world. I'm just wondering if the people check out all of my files to see what I have on my computer. They probably go in and hack itunes and will watch my videos and will see the pic of the weimaraner getting humped by the deer...oh well.